Before you go any further you have to know that I AM a married woman running a site for single women.
I do this because when I was single, I needed support and comfort but there was NONE. This was long before the days of Facebook and the internet was just finding its feet.
So, if you’re happy to get guidance and insight from someone who's experienced the many shades of single life then sorry to hold you up, please continue.
If you’ve had enough shitty experiences, you’ll eventually decide to create a positive change.
Just look at the creation of the wheel. People were tired of carrying their stuff around, so some genius found a solution.
And that’s why this site is here. Because of all my shitty experiences, this is my wheel, WELCOME!
I was not a good single person. I freaking hated being single and I hated that I hated being single!
In fact, I hated it so much that I dated ANYONE just so I didn’t have to be alone.
I don’t need to tell you that that didn’t work out too well. I collected bad dates and abusive men like others collect stamps.
All my shitty dates and failed relationships were turning me into a sad twisted person, I did not like her, she wasn't who I wanted to be.
The last man I dated was Daniel, sweet but desperate Daniel.
He fell for me hard and I did not fall at all.
It was this shitty experience that broke the camel’s back, breaking this sweet man’s heart started a chain reaction of events that led us all here.
I love that great saying “if you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you”.
I told myself I wouldn’t date again until it felt right, until I had sorted myself out. I didn’t want to take my dating baggage to the next relationship.
When I was going through this, I made sure to read every article and do every course I could find to help myself. I did anything I could to turn myself into a relaxed and easy-going single woman.
P.S The internal work is the most important part to ensure you don’t make others pay for your past bad experiences.
I began my dating break by letting all my negative emotions and past experiences bubble up to the surface.
I allowed myself to feel them all.
I was determined to turn myself into a contented happy single, even though at the time I was the FURTHEST thing from a happy single.
Starting fresh meant healing all my accumulated dating experiences, so I would only be left with the wise experienced me.
There’s a reason you were brought here.
Use this time to look inside.
Whether you decide to do the work now or later, you’re still going to be a year older in 12 months’ time.
You may as well be a little wiser sooner.
I like to look at it like this, the more work you do on yourself the better experiences you’ll attract.
Lost and shitty people attract lost and shitty people.
Happy and well-adjusted people attract happy, well-adjusted people.
“I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy, I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it”
Essentially, it’s your emotional baggage or clutter standing in the way of your dreams.
Everything you long for is on the other side of the hurt, anger, bitterness and sadness.
It doesn’t only have to be about finding a mate. Dreams come in all shapes and sizes.
Shining a spotlight internally helped me heal my hurts. I learned to genuinely forgive and let go of my baggage so I could have a chance at the good stuff.
Our ships come in over calm waters. They arrive when we’re happy.
Contentment, I finally felt at peace. Probably for the first time in my life.
While I still wanted the marriage and babies, I no longer felt the single girl sadness, I felt proud of who I was.
You know you have reached healing when you look at other women who have what you want and feel nothing but joy and happiness for them.
And I did, I felt so happy for all the women around me including my once single friends who found the loves of their lives.
I was contented and happy exactly as I was.
And wouldn’t you know it as soon as I found my own personal happy place, I ended up meeting the man of my dreams, eight months after I started this journey.
My uncluttered happiness and contentment are what opened the path to finding him.While I was a miserable single a good man was never going to come my way because I repelled happiness.
I attracted him because I was happy.
If you’d like to learn more about the journey to finding my hubby, you can read it here.
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Dr Wayne Dyer