Why do the happiest couples I know never really seem to concern themselves with my love life or ‘single status’? Yet the couples whose marriages I would least like to emulate seem to be pre-occupied with telling me “it’s time to get married” and even try to match me up on occasion.
I’m not saying the latter couples are in ‘bad’ marriages but when I spend time with them I more often than not walk away thinking “Why on earth are those two people married to each other? They don’t seem to have much of anything in common and regularly appear to irritate each other!”
With one such couple the wife regularly tells me how much she envies and misses the freedoms I have as a single person. Not a social occasion will go by without that wife chiming in with her husband to ask, “So when are we going to get you married dude?” Yet this same said wife has also on a couple of other occasions remarked to me that her ideal scenario would be to simply be married Monday to Friday and single and free on the weekends. Go figure!
....the couples whose marriages I would least like to emulate seem to be pre-occupied with telling me “it’s time to get married”
Yet with other couples, that from my point of view seem to have the ideal happy sort of marriage, that I would consider signing up for, rarely seem to be interested in what’s happening in my dating life. If I bring it up, they are happy to discuss it but they never seem to offer advice unless I ask for it. Even then, they are more inclined to tell me that they wish they had some words of wisdom to offer. But they hardly consider themselves relationship experts and are rather just grateful that they found the partner that’s right for them. When given, the general thrust of their advice seems to be ‘don’t sweat it dude, it’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen.’
When I look at these couples I tend to see so many signs that they are on the same page, in so many areas of their life and seem so easy going with each other. When I go away from a social visit I generally feel a sense of peace and happiness for them and yet feel no sense of disquiet about my own single status. I generally feel a relaxed sense of ‘all is right with the world’ both for them and me at this point in time.
After a visit with the former (want to marry me off) sort of couples I often walk away with a sense of being judged, a feeling of them now discussing me and agreeing with each other that “he’s such a nice guy, it’s just a shame that he’s still single.”
Meanwhile, I’m left scratching my head and thinking “They’re both such nice people but why on earth are they married to each other? And why on earth would they imagine I’d want to get married given how taxing their example of married life seems to be!”
Members of The Singles Sisterhood lets take this discussion over to the community boards and open up a discussion about how often we've encountered couples like this and known without a shadow of a doubt we would never want in that type of relationship.