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Why it’s Important to Take the Time to Heal After a Break-Up
29 March 2019
I’ve watched women go from seething angry after a break-up straight into online dating again.
The saying “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone” only works to create a brief distraction but the pain is still there.
In my opinion, masking the residual pain with a new relationship or getting back out there soon after rarely works.
Without the proper time for rest and renewal, all it really does is keep you locked in comparison mode as you try to prove to yourself how different this new guy is.
Healing really means to stop and feel those sobering painful emotions that even the greatest guy in the world can’t mend.
The mending starts and ends with you.
Healing is messy and never predictable; tears of grief can morph within seconds to bitter angry outbursts.
The first stage in healing is inviting the mess to the surface, to allow yourself to bring all the crappy emotions into the light.
Because when we acknowledge an emotion by speaking it or writing it down it suddenly loses its power.
Be willing to take a look at the old relationship as though you were doing a review of what happened.
If you chose to forgo the healing portion of a break-up, you’ll be building your new castle, aka your new relationship, on the sand.
Sooner or later the sand will shift and what lays beneath will come to the surface.
And those closest to you, namely your new partner, will bear the brunt of your unresolved hurt.
New relationships should be given the best possible chance to flourish and it’s only fair to yourself and to your future partner that you are going in fresh.
Otherwise, your new relationship is already starting on the back foot and probably has a short shelf life.