What I Would Tell My Single Self


Sladana Mitrovic
24 February 2019

I’ve been actively working on myself for close to two decades now.

And it’s generally two steps forward and one step back, but other days it’s none forward and one back.

Things still trigger me, things I’ve been working on but they’re things that are harder to shift.

Our triggers, the stuff that causes us to squirm uncomfortably in our chair, are like staring at the sun, you can only do it for so long before you have to look away.

As an introvert being online is super hard, it’s so vulnerable and it feels like someone’s looking up my skirt.

But I push myself out of my comfort zone every day so my experiences as a long time single can benefit someone else.

My natural instinct is to retreat into anonymity but if I want to create change in the lives of others then shying away from the online world means locking away all the lessons I lived and help no one.

Lessons are no good tucked away in the folds of my mind, so I’ve chosen to spread the word so that my single girl tales will help someone now.

It’s like I’m trying to go back in time to help that girl sitting at her desk at work who was just broken up with via text, me.

If I could go back, I would hug her and tell her that this experience was crucial in finding her forever mate.

Being broken up with in such a horrible manner will eventually form part of her long list of criteria she includes in her wish list for a good man, a man who will always respect her enough to give her the truth, no matter how painful.

I would tell her that despite her current heartbroken state that she will survive this, and not just survive but thrive too!

It all comes down to building a foundation on concrete, not sand, an experience foundation that takes me to the next level.

A foundation to build a grand dream of better days while simultaneously weeding out the less desirable choices.

You’ve got to learn to do both at the same time to drive you two steps forward because life will take you a step back sometimes too.