While I was single and if I’d had the guts to ask, I would have asked married women to tell me the truth about married life.
I’d never been married, and I could never imagine that level of intimacy of sharing your life and space with someone.
Now as a married woman I’m going to share with you the practicality of what’s it’s like to be married because no one shared it with me.
When you’re single you do everything from your own perspective. You do your life from a place of ‘is this good for me’.
You juggle your world based on your obligations, responsibilities, your family and your friends. So, moving around your life feels quick and more efficient.
Now let’s imagine finding the love of your life and marrying him. Now you double all those obligations, responsibilities, family, friends and suddenly you’re moving slower than you’re used too.
And that takes some getting used too.
By nature, I am a worrier so in the back of my mind, I am always thinking how is he going, is he happy, is he well.
Because I know how I am doing 100% of the time I like to make sure he’s doing well too.
I don’t always ask him how he’s going, because that would make me very annoying but I’ll tune in a couple of times a day to his energy and just gage if all is well in his world. It literally only takes 2 seconds to do but it makes me feel like a good wife.
I don’t always share the moments when I’m down with my husband because I don’t want to bring him down because he’s a happy guy, he sings around the house and he bounces around doing things withgeneral ease and grace.
So, when I’m having a PMS induced moment, I try to shield him for that because I don’t mess his mood up.
But the right guy and my guy is, will notice your down mood and comfort you, all without you having to ask.
But I don’t expect him to notice or comfort me 100% of the time because he is his own person and ultimately, I am the one responsible for my own feelings.
This is a healthy relationship, one where you are aware of each other’s frame of mind and willing to stop what you’re doing and offer a kind word and a hug.
This is one of the reasons I was willing to be single for so long because I wanted this type of man, he’s not as easy to find as the dime-a-dozen-don’t-give-a shit-about-you type of man out there.
Wait for the right one, trust me they’re always worth the wait.
Tune in to tomorrow’s blog where I’ll be going deeper into our experiences with other couples that don’t have the same connection and open communication that my husband and I do.