The 10,000 Faces of Online Dating


Paula Chi
13 May 2015

It’s safe to say that a vast majority of us have tried or is currently using online dating websites. In today’s environment, online dating is hands down the most efficient and effective way of finding your next partner. If done wisely you could save yourself a stupendous amount of time, heartache and not to mention money! Now there’s a tonne of good stuff to say about the online dating game; namely, you can get to know someone pretty quick while in your PJ’s but it is an unnatural way of meeting people. There’s just something a little artificial about it isn’t there?
When we first decide to give online dating a go we pick a site either at random or by reputation and create ourselves the best profile imaginable. At first, it’s so fresh and exciting and we wonder where this cyber magic has been all our lives. You eagerly open up a new profile and get furiously typing until you’ve completed your online profile and taken the personality test. You soon discover that the online dating world is so technically advanced you wonder whether NASA itself had something to do with it.
You can feel your pulse quicken with excitement when you receive your first matches. You’re eager to get to know them all and realise there are so many interesting single’s out there. You start at the beginning and work your way through them. You’ve now read the first 20 connections and have sent off a couple of kisses and icebreakers to some that caught your eye.
You return to the main menu to log out only to discover that another 30 profiles have magically appeared. Excited you decide to go in for more, lapping up all the available single people in one place. It’s not long before the original 50 have now turned into 100 new profiles.

And by morning there are 500 new faces smiling at you silently bidding for your attention.

As the week progresses you think “in for a penny in for a pound” and keep up the good fight. You’re a trooper and are sending out emails and soon you’re creating meaningful connections with people you really want to meet.
But after a while, you begin confusing one connection with another. You’re making new contacts every day but can’t remember what you’ve said to each. You wonder where you got up to with each contact and you start confusing conversations and people altogether. Wondering “did I tell lawyer Charlie about my childhood yet, or did I tell Simon?”
30 days in and you're in full meltdown mode. You can’t keep up with the faces, places and names. You pull away for a few days hoping some distance will give you clarity. When you return your matches are bursting at the seams. You feel hope slipping away and it leaves you wondering if you’ll ever be able to find your match in this sea of people. You grow cold with overwhelm and numbness sets in. In the end, you’re just endlessly scrolling for the sake of finding your perfect match.
The problem here is not the lack of choice (obviously) but a lack of clarity in you. By not having a specific “type” you’re left to consider everyone in your mailbox. STOP IT! Before you go any further get a pad and a pen and write the qualities you want in a perfect mate. From sports fanatic and gardeners who grow their own organic vegetables to basketball players with big families. Whatever the quality or trait write it down.
Once you’re done with your list you’re in a better position to go back and redefine your selection criteria. The next time you log in to your dating profile you’ll have a lot fewer matches to have to consider. As a bonus, you’ll be able to quickly judge which matches are suitable based on your ideal mate list. By doing this simple little exercise you have just saved yourself countless go-no-where coffee dates and conversations.
In just one simple step you’ve brought your perfect match closer to you.