When I haven’t followed what feels good, I’ve inevitably made a mistake.
Because we have to make a mountain of decisions each and every day it’s easy to brush off the “right” decision for us in favour of obligation.
Sometimes the right decision for us means disappointing others.
What feels good will always steer you in the right direction.
We are equipped with an internal guide that resides in our physical body and is the best and only conductor of our intuition.
The brain can steer you wrong, but your body never will.
Doing what feels right can be a tough thing to follow through on because what feels good to us isn’t always the popular choice.
If what feels right to you doesn’t hurt, injury or do emotional or physical damage to another human being then you can safely assume it’s ok to proceed.
We’ve only got this one life to live and I hear too many stories of people who have major regrets on their death beds.
In her book “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying”, Palliative Care nurse Bronnie Ware says the most common regret of them all is “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me”.
This is profound, and one that every person needs to take into consideration.
Where in our life, do we do what is “expected of us” and how can we make a significant change to stop this need to please.
If yourneed to please is only small and all it would take to change this behaviour is a simple change in routine then more power to you.
But if that desire to please is crushing for you and alters your entire life then maybe a more significant action is required.
For me, personally, my need to please was so profound that I had to move to another state so I could finally put myself first.
Do whatever it takes to only do what feels good for you. You’ll initially be met with great resistance both internally and externally.
It takes practice and loads of positive self-talk. If you feel like you’re in a similar boat to me and also struggle with this then you can use the affirmations I use to help curb this ‘need to please’ impulse.
I enjoy putting my needs first.
I only do what feels good to me.
It’s ok to selfish.
I choose to stop apologising for my needs.
I say no with love and ease.
Be gentle with yourself during this process and please be kind to yourself in the moments where you do slip up and fall back into your old habits.
Sometimes slipping up lights an even bigger fire within us to keep going and see the new habit through.