I Can Only Ever Be Myself



Sladana Mitrovic
23 March 2019

At the age of 43, I have come to understand, more than ever, that I will only ever be this person.

Someone who writes like she speaks, gets very annoyed with things that others wouldn’t even notice and has a natural negative disposition.

Try as I might but some of my traits are rooted in my DNA.

My biggest and something my family often make fun of me about is the fact that I am lazy.

I enjoy staring out the window more than I do reading a book.

I would rather watch endless YouTube videos on decluttering than attend a party.

And if I could I’d spend the rest of my life doing absolutely nothing.

I’ve come to accept that this is who I am, I don’t know what I came to earth to learn but boy, if it’s how to not do anything then I’ve accomplished this life’s mission.

Here’s the thing, it’s not often that I’ll do nothing because there are always errands to run or surfaces to dust.

I will fight my lazy disposition all day long by performing, doing, accomplishing because my reward for doing all this stuff is being able to do nothing once I’m done.

I’ll clean the bathrooms, write that blog, update the site, pick up dry cleaning, all in an effort to “earn” my downtime.

And living with a natural lazy disposition can make you a target.

We live in a time of constant comparison and people will try to tell you they are better and richer than you are. Because to the outside world, you could be doing better.

But I can only ever be me. I can only ever follow my path, and no one has to live it but me.

I won’t apologise for living my life my way, on my terms.

When I entered my 40’s I understood more than ever that life doesn’t work out the way you think it will.

The twists and turns will bring you onto a path that you didn’t know existed and if you can accept the path and make the best of it then you’ll have a pretty happy life on your hands.

Acceptance of self means you’ve won half the race.

Live unapologetically exactly as you are because you’ll be surprised at the rewards life has to offer for living an authentic life.