Hugs are not something really spoken about in the single world. We tend to try and exude an air of independence as singles, don’t we? And somehow it seems too sad to tell others, even a fellow single, that we could really use a hug. Most singles can go without being hugged or touched by another human for really long periods of time.
You know the kind of hug I mean, the kind that helps us feel alive, safe, accepted and warm. The kind of touch that connects you to another on a spiritual level and makes you feel not alone because really, we are alone most of the time.
For some singles, they may sense some human contact is missing but jump to the conclusion that it must be sex that’s missing. But not always, it could really just be a gigantic bear hug we need. But again we’re too embarrassed to ask so instead we try to fill the gap with a giant Nutella thick shake. Now as good as Nutella thick shakes are, it doesn’t actually satisfy anything other than our belly.
Some months I’ll miss being hugged so much, but am too shy to ask for one, that I’ll book myself a massage instead to try and fill this need. It goes without saying that the touches I am referring to are not sexual in any way, they are touches in the purest form - human to human, one living being to another.
Is there a way that we singles can tell our friends “hey, I’d love a giant hug from you right now” without sounding like we’re trying to turn our friendship into a love affair? It would be most unfortunate if you asked a friend for a long hug only to receive the one eyebrow-up questioning your sanity look, wondering if you’ve gone off the deep end.
You would probably receive less judgement from a female friend but poor guys - can you imagine if a man asks his friends “listen, mate, it’s been a while and I’m feeling the need to be touched…..could you give me a hug…..mate”? This would probably go down as well as if you’d asked them to pay your rent for the next year. It’s just not the done thing.
So where to from here? Should we just rely on masseuses to fill the huge hole of the single? Are we too ashamed to ask for a bit of hug-love? When in truth there is no need to feel ashamed; we all know the wonderful effects of being held. Let's fight through our embarrassment and hug a friend.
Start small, next time you see a friend greet them with a big bear hug. Wrap your arms around them, appreciate them being in your life. I know they’ll get just as much out of it as you do.
Go on, hug a friend and do it often.
As always the best discussions are happening over in the community boards so members of The Singles Sisterhood we'll meet you over in there and discuss how you feel after long periods of no physical contact.
Come and join The Sisterhood if you haven't already. It's unlike anything you'll find online.