A MANS PERSPECTIVE | Have I Missed the Boat?


12 May 2017

I dated on occasion; and while I’ve dated a couple of decent girls that you’d put in the ‘marriage material’ category, I was never quite taken with the whole ‘I need to commit to someone for the rest of my life’ concept. I, therefore, found it fairly easy to walk away from both relationships as soon as I saw a problem.
However, now as a single guy in my late 30’s, I find myself more and more starting to question whether I’m really happy living ‘the single life’ (pardon the pun).
I lead a free and easy, comfortable existence. I’m not a party animal (haven’t done bars and nightclubs for over a decade now), have got an enjoyable and decent paying job that I’ve been doing for many years now. My greatest joy and the weekly highlight are playing sports with friends a couple of times per week, it feeds my active male brain perfectly. I’d describe myself as a spiritual type who tries (emphasis on tries) to meditate regularly and enjoys pondering the big questions like ‘what’s the meaning of life?’ I’ve got a nice circle of five good friends that I can reliably count on; each with their own quirky and unique personality such that they satisfy my social needs in different ways.
The catch is that four of them are now married and the other one is in a serious long-term relationship; so I’ve been left as the last man standing.
I’ve been single for a few years now and have never felt in any way inadequate as a result of this. However, the last couple of years I have noticed that there has been a subtle shift in the social dynamic with my friends. I regularly hear the same questions, “Are you dating anyone?” “How’s the love life?” and unprompted statements like “...maybe it’s time to find a special someone and settle down.” These questions are far more frequently being posed, or seemingly randomly injected into conversations and at times dominating the discussion. To be honest, I’m sometimes not even sure who initiates these discussion topics but have a general feeling that it’s most often my friends. Only occasionally will I bring these topics up myself, out of a sense that “it’s going to come up anyway, so how about I try and direct the flow.” At any rate, the point is that my love life does seem to be regular fare for discussion on social occasions with friends, whether I’m interested in talking about it or not.
Given I don’t really have any single friends anymore; you can see how my social life keeps bringing me back to the question of “Am I still happy and content with my life as a single guy?”
If answering from the perspective of my day to day happy go lucky lifestyle I would answer in a heartbeat that “Yes, I’m very happy and content” and genuinely mean it.
However, given I don’t live in a cocoon and the world around me is changing, I’m more and more forced to confront the fact that I’m different to those closest around me; I’m single! And despite my current feelings of happiness and contentedness, the natural human inclination towards wondering whether the grass is greener on the other side seems to be manifesting itself via an occasional internal dialogue that starts with the question, “Have I missed the boat? And do I really want to be on it?” 
Do you feel like you've missed the boat or let go of someone that could have been 'the one'? Members of TheSingleLife.com can head off to the community boards to join the conversations over there.