Easing Feelings of Loneliness


Sladana Mitrovic
5 October 2017

Feeling lonely forms part of the human condition and understanding the deeper meaning of why we feel lonely can shed light on an area we don’t necessarily want to look at.
Loneliness is an indicator that you have disconnected from your internal self and are now looking outside of yourself for validation.
When we feel lonely what we are actually experiencing is a disconnection from self.
We feel disconnected from our community but essentially, we are first disconnected from our inner being and then we ultimately feel a disconnect from our community.
We are in fact craving a reconnection with our own self first. Even if it feels like we are desperate to connect with others, it is, in fact, a sign that we have looked outside of ourselves for self-worth, acceptance or entertainment.
On a deep level, we have lost the understanding we have everything we need inside of us to feel whole.
For some reason, we have decided that we are not enough and someone needs to come in to fill the void.
So why do we disconnect in the first place and as a bi-product experience loneliness?
The answer is pretty simple really, it’s because negativity has crept in.
Negativity comes in all forms and we really don’t have to look far to find it.
But the key to stopping the negativity from creeping in is to become super aware of its presence.
The first step is awareness, so, Stop, drop and realign.
Aligning means we are centred, we re-establish a connection to oneself.
You probably don’t realise it but you already know how to align with your natural self.
You just don’t know you know it.
Aligning can look like a shopping spree to help you feel better or an extra-long lunch break or even a vacation.
You already do this but now you have a name for it; alignment.
Simply put, aligning or finding your centre means feeling good. 
This is not the time to analyse why you’re lonely, analysing at this stage will only suck you back into the loneliness vortex.
Over analysing an emotion such as loneliness is not helpful or advisable because it’ll make the feeling stronger and inevitably last longer.
Instead at this stage distract yourself, it’s all about distraction and ignoring the feelings of loneliness.
While it may seem counterintuitive to ignore such a powerful feeling it is the easiest and best way to shift it.
Spending time pulling apart negative feelings such as this one will only amplify them and exhaust you. 
Instead, go inside yourself to soothe your emotions. Counteract the negative thinking with more realistic positive thoughts.

It’s all about distraction.

The more times you distract yourself the less intense the next bout of loneliness will be. So over time, the loneliness will decrease in potency.
And what you distract yourself with will all depend on the depth or intensity you’ve caught your feelings of loneliness at. 
It may be as simple as taking a short walk to align yourself with positive thoughts or it could be like planning your next holiday.
It’s all about self-awareness and finding what works for you.
And remember you’re only lonely if you look around for evidence of loneliness. 
So instead look around for things to be grateful for because at any given time in our life we have much much more things going right for us than the opposite. 
There are always two sides to every story we tell ourselves.
Learn to enjoy your own company, be your own best friend.
If you would like more information on Easing Feelings of Loneliness, we dive deeper into this topic and solutions in our Easing Feelings of Loneliness 10 Minute Masterclass join us >>here to access this lesson.